| Bob ran really fast down the brightly lit hallway to | | | | over the music."d. so (to a high degree) + |
| the slowly closing door at the very end. He was | | | | happy (positive feeling, joyful) = ecstatic |
| on his way to his most favorite class: Grammar | | | | (overwhelming joyfulness) |
| 101. | | | | "I am so happy to see you." = |
| While we commend Bob's enthusiasm for | | | | "I am ecstatic to see you." |
| grammar, this use of adverbs is excessive. We | | | | All this is the very complicated way of saying |
| call this "adverbial pollution." Just like | | | | replace multiple words with one word that |
| industrial pollutants pouring into otherwise clean | | | | encompasses their meanings. |
| rivers, using too many adverbs in a passage saps | | | | We do not advocate that you use this strategy |
| the life out of the text. Many environmental | | | | to remove all your adverbs, but if you discover |
| pollution problems are solved through chemistry, | | | | yourself using many adverbs, consider it. Certainly, |
| and we can use two chemistry processes to | | | | if you are using two or more adverbs to describe |
| solve adverbial pollution: organic synthesis and | | | | a single word, then we recommend it. Here's why. |
| filtration. We'll discuss these strategies below, but | | | | If you need multiple descriptive words, you |
| before we do, let's clarify our understanding of | | | | probably have not used an accurate word in the |
| adverbs. | | | | first place. We prefer using words that mean |
| Adverbs 101 | | | | what we want to say instead of using words that |
| Adverbs are descriptive words with three | | | | are similar but need to be modified. For this |
| purposes: | | | | reason, we try to avoid the third use of adverbs. |
| 1. Adverbs describe verbs. They tell in what | | | | Strategy 2: Filtration |
| manner an action occurs, when, to what degree, | | | | The filtration process is much easier to explain |
| and where.a. John walked confidently. Mary gazed | | | | than organic synthesis—fortunately. |
| longingly at him.b. He had received his promotion | | | | Filtration is a process for removing material from |
| yesterday. She immediately noticed his pride.c. | | | | a solution. For example, think of a water filter. |
| John began to sneeze violently. Her perfume really | | | | The water passes through, and the stuff you |
| bothered him.d. He escaped outside. Mary walked | | | | don’t want is captured and removed, |
| away. | | | | leaving clean water. The editing equivalent is |
| That last bullet is confusing to some people. | | | | similar. When our editors at Precise Edit find |
| Those underlined words sure look a lot like | | | | adverbs that don’t add value to the |
| prepositions. However, like many words, their part | | | | sentence, we remove them, leaving clean |
| of speech depends on what they do in a | | | | sentences. |
| particular sentence. Unlike prepositions, which | | | | Let's look at that last example above and see |
| describe where something is, these words | | | | how this works. |
| describe where an action occurs. Since they are | | | | "I am so very happy to see you." In |
| describing the verbs, or actions, in these | | | | this case, "so" and "very" |
| sentences, they are adverbs. | | | | have the same function and meaning. They are |
| 2. Adverbs describe adjectives. Adjectives | | | | both describing "happy," and they both |
| describe nouns (people, places, things, ideas), and | | | | mean "to a high degree." For all |
| adverbs describe adjectives.a. John felt suddenly | | | | practical purposes, "so very happy" |
| better. Mary was nearly inconsolable. | | | | has the same meaning as "so happy" |
| 3. Adverbs describe other adverbs.a. His pace | | | | and "very happy." We can filter out |
| became noticeably faster. Almost imperceptibly, | | | | one of these words without changing the meaning |
| Mary's bottom lip began to quiver. | | | | of the sentence. Using the organic synthesis |
| Adverbs are quite interesting. One adverb, | | | | strategy above, we might remove both and use |
| describing one word, can be used in many places | | | | "ecstatic." |
| without changing the meaning of a sentence, | | | | As we can see, filtration can be used to remove |
| though the placement may affect the style, | | | | redundant words. Here are four more examples |
| complexity, or clarity of the sentence. For | | | | of this.a. "Mary's dogs are becoming much |
| example, the adverb "imperceptibly" in | | | | more comfortable around John’s |
| the last sample above can be placed in four | | | | cats." (Either of these adverbs, or both, can |
| different positions to describe | | | | be removed.)b. "This town is becoming |
| "quiver."a. Imperceptibly, her bottom | | | | increasingly noisy." ("Becoming |
| lip began to quiver.b. Her bottom lip imperceptibly | | | | noisy" means that the formerly quiet town |
| began to quiver.c. Her bottom lip began, | | | | is now noisy. [We could remove "now" |
| imperceptibly, to quiver.d. Her bottom lip began to | | | | from this description, as it is implied by |
| quiver imperceptibly. | | | | "is." We left it in to balance |
| See how powerful and how much fun adverbs | | | | "formerly quiet."] "Increasingly |
| can be? They have multiple purposes and can be | | | | noisy" means that the volume level is |
| used in multiple positions. However, these two | | | | continuing to increase, i.e., becoming noisier. Since |
| characteristics of adverbs encourage their | | | | "increasingly noisy" implies |
| overuse, i.e., adverbial pollution. This creates two | | | | "becoming," keeping the adverb |
| problems, each solved by a particular editing | | | | "increasingly" allows us to remove the |
| strategy: unspecific word use, which is solved | | | | verb "becoming," leaving us with |
| through organic synthesis, and unnecessary word | | | | "The town is increasingly noisy.")c. |
| use, which is solved through filtration. | | | | "The dog barked incessantly all night |
| Strategy 1: Organic Synthesis | | | | long." (In this case, the phrase "All |
| In organic synthesis, a chemist transforms multiple | | | | night long" includes the meaning of |
| organic compounds into a single new organic | | | | "incessantly," so |
| compound. [Organic compounds are made up of | | | | "incessantly" is redundant and can be |
| molecules containing carbon, which are found in all | | | | removed.)d. "These are enough examples |
| living things.] In each step of the process, a real | | | | for now." (In this example, the verb |
| molecule, or major product, is created, and these | | | | "are" means now, so |
| products are used in the next step. This process | | | | "now" is redundant.) |
| continues until the final molecule is created. Easy, | | | | Filtration also removes words that are |
| right? In very simplified terms, this is what | | | | unnecessary (not: "completely |
| happens: combine all or part of compound A to all | | | | unnecessary"). Here are four examples of |
| or part of compound B to create the desired | | | | this.a. "This is really true." (In this case, |
| compound C. | | | | "really true" is no more true than |
| Ok, now that we've just completed an entire | | | | "true," so we can filter out that extra |
| semester of organic chemistry, let's apply this to | | | | adverb.)b. "This gap actually widened." |
| adverbial pollution and editing. We combine the | | | | (In this case, "actually widened" is the |
| meaning of an adverb with the meaning of the | | | | same as "widened." Perhaps the writer |
| word it describes, and use those definitions to | | | | is trying to express some surprise, in which case |
| produce a new word that contains the relevant | | | | the writer should have said so, e.g., "We |
| definitions of the original words. Perhaps we'd | | | | were surprised that the gap widened.")c. |
| better look at some simple examples.a. to run (to | | | | "He quietly whispered sweet nothings in her |
| travel by moving the legs at a faster pace than | | | | ear." ("Whispering" implies |
| walking) + fast (quickly, rapidly) = to race (to run | | | | "quietly," so we can filter out |
| or move quickly) | | | | "quietly.")d. "They sat down on |
| "He ran fast down the hallway." = | | | | the chair." ("Sitting" and |
| "He raced down the hallway."b. to | | | | "sitting down" mean the same thing, |
| leave (to exit or depart) + quietly (without noise | | | | so "down" is unnecessary.) |
| or commotion) + unobtrusively (not noticeably) = | | | | What all this means |
| to slip (to leave discreetly) | | | | Efficient writing uses accurate words to |
| "He left the room quietly and | | | | communicate an idea (organic synthesis). |
| unobtrusively." = "He slipped out of | | | | Economical writing uses the fewest words |
| the room."c. to talk (make meaningful | | | | possible to communicate an idea (filtration). Strong |
| speech) + really (very, to a high degree) + loudly | | | | writing is both efficient and economical. Therefore, |
| (at a high or uncomfortable volume) = to shout | | | | if you want to produce strong writing, you must |
| "He talked really loudly to be heard over the | | | | clean up adverbial pollution. |
| music." = "He shouted to be heard | | | | |