| I taught school for a dozen years and loved | | | | an isolated package. While you are grieving, you |
| every one of them. But the day came when I | | | | may also be dealing with a variety of issues, such |
| realized I had done everything I could with my | | | | as getting ready to move. No wonder you are |
| job and had no more to give. To keep myself | | | | forgetful. Because you are swamped, you may |
| creative I started writing articles for educational | | | | eat on the run or snack instead of eating balanced |
| magazines and several were published. The idea | | | | meals. Sleep problems keep you awake at night |
| of becoming a writer intrigued me, so I gave the | | | | and your days may become a study in fatigue. |
| school several months notice and quit my job to | | | | Anticipatory grief differs from post-death grief in |
| pursue this new career. | | | | several ways. One difference is the inability to |
| Quitting teaching was a hard decision -- a grieving | | | | predict when it will end. Another difference is the |
| decision -- and every time I drove past the school | | | | mixture of sorrow and hope. You feel sorrow, |
| tears welled up in my eyes. Now I understand | | | | yet continue to hope things will turn out all right. |
| that I was going through anticipatory grief, a | | | | Meghan O'Rouke writes about "The True Nature |
| feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event | | | | of Mourning" in an April, 2009 issue of "The |
| occurs. One career had ended and the other was | | | | Week." As common as grief is, O'Rouke notes |
| uncertain. Though some may not identify it, | | | | that it is difficult to confront it. In a culture that |
| everyone goes though anticipatory grief. | | | | tends to hide grief and lacks mourning rituals, she |
| You may have feelings of loss long before your | | | | says, "We want to achieve emotional recovery." |
| child leaves for college. An impending divorce may | | | | Fortunately, there are things you can do to help |
| cause emotional upheaval and grief. A job transfer | | | | yourself. |
| to another city may cause you to grieve for the | | | | Be alert to the symptoms of anticipatory grief. |
| home and community you have come to love. | | | | Eat balanced meals and go to bed at the same |
| Anticipatory grief is powerful, so powerful it can | | | | time each night. Whether they are spoken or |
| literally change your life. What are the symptoms? | | | | written, express your feelings with words. Share |
| Denial is one of them. Even if you sense you are | | | | your feelings with a trusted relative or friend. |
| grieving, you may push sad thoughts to the back | | | | Slowly, step-by-step, work on building your healing |
| of your mind. Nervousness is another symptoms | | | | path. |
| and you are on constant alert. This nervousness | | | | Painful as it is, anticipatory grief helps you to |
| may develop into anxiety and dread. Long-term | | | | discover your true self. Indeed, you may evolve |
| anticipatory grief can lead to crying spells, mood | | | | into a new person, someone you did not know |
| swings, anger and depression. | | | | before and want to know better now. You are a |
| Anticipatory grief does not arrive at the door like | | | | work in progress and so is anticipatory grief. |