Coaching Yourself: How To Deal With Fear

As a coach, I know that fear is responsible formanaging them. Until you write them down, they
much, if not most, frustration and failure. Whenare like so many vehicles in gridlock. Once you
my clients learn to work with and overcome theirhave them on paper, you can park some and
fears and anxiety, they step into a world ofmove others, clearing a space for forward
virtually unlimited possibility and satisfaction. Imovement. In this way, writing down your fears
believe this article will help you understand morecreates a space for awareness and choice. (Tip:
about fear and choose how you respond to it,Refrain from judging yourself or your fears. Just
creating a space for greater meaning andlist and label them.)
prosperity in your life.MAKING THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN TWO
When dealing with fear, it is helpful to realize thatTYPES OF FEAR
not all fears are created equal. Timothy GallweyOnce you have a list, notice where Fear 1 and
and Robert Kriegel devote an entire chapter toFear 2 show up. The following distinctions will help:
two kinds of fear in their book "Inner Skiing,"-- Fear 1 promotes panic and confusion. Fear 2
which they call Fear 1 and Fear 2. Fear 1 magnifiespromotes clarity and purpose.
danger and vulnerability while minimizing your-- Fear 1 is often about saving face. Fear 2 is
sense of competence. In other words, Fear 1 isabout stepping out of your comfort zone.
Fantasy Expectations Appearing Real.-- Fear 1 triggers avoidance of the facts. Fear 2
Fear 2 mobilizes your whole being for effectiveheightens awareness and perception.
action. It includes a series of marvelous-- Fear 1 wants you just to stop. Fear 2 wants
physiological changes that prepare the body foryou to move forward powerfully and safely.
peak performance. Fear 2 focuses attention,-- Fear 1 magnifies danger and vulnerability. Fear 2
provides adrenaline for extraordinary effort, andcalls on our capacity to respond to danger.
sharpens perception. Fear 2 promotes effective-- Fear 1 originates in our ego mind. Fear 2 is a
action; Fear 1 paralyzes us and prevents action.whole-system response.
DEALING WITH FEAR: EXERCISEBoth types of fear are present in many situations.
Make a list of all of your fears, writing as fast asWhat is important is to use your powers of
you can to block the internal censor. Includeassessment and discrimination to turn down the
EVERY fear, however small or irrational. Thenvolume on Fear 1 while calling on Fear 2 for the
read them aloud, suspending judgment. Allowenergy and focus to move forward. With
yourself to feel the fear without grabbing ontopractice, you can actually transform Fear 1 into
the hot air balloon. Notice that being afraid doesFear 2 by focusing and accurately assessing the
not have to mean losing ground.real risk and your real competence.
If it feels comfortable, share your list with aFor example, Fear 1 makes a terrified skier (and I
friend. Before sharing your list, explain that youspeak from experience!), see a shear drop where
simply want a witness, that you are playing withthe slope is actually quite moderate. When the
how it is to acknowledge your fears without beingskier stops and measures the actual slope by
pulled off center by them. Be clear that you areholding her pole parallel to it, she increases her
not asking for help and that you do not needawareness of actual conditions, reducing the
advice. You do not need to be fixed. Ask yourinfluence of Fear 1. By continuing to examine the
friend to simply listen, and to acknowledge youslope, seeing in her mind's eye how she would ski
for being conscious of your fears.the slope if she chose to, she further reduces
Now, you have the opportunity to sort yourpanic. When at last she takes off down the hill,
fears by type. Work through your list, labelingtrusting in her competence and in her assessment
each fear as:of the challenge, she completes her shift from
-- Fear 1Fear 1 (panic) into Fear 2 (concentrated
-- Fear 2exhilaration).
-- Not sure, or includes aspects of both types ofLearning to deal with fears in this manner takes
fear.practice. The pay off is potentially unlimited as
Writing down your fears is a powerful step inyou remove barriers to learning, performance and
dealing with fears and anxiety and eventuallyjoy.