| Last week, we covered some of the features of | | | | loving every minute of it? Sounds farfetched, I |
| a good magazine query letter. This week, we're | | | | know, but I did it a year ago and kept every |
| going to provide a sample of both a good query | | | | pound of the weight off.(1) I'd love to tell your |
| letter and the query letter from hell: | | | | readers about my journey in a 650-word(2) article |
| QUERY FROM HELL | | | | called(3) "Going Bananas: My Journey From Stocky |
| Dear Editor(1): | | | | To Svelte In 22 Days."(4) I think it would be |
| I have an idea for a story I think you'd like. I lost | | | | perfect for your True Tales department.(5) |
| a lot of weight on the Banana Diet.(2) I'd tell you | | | | "Going Bananas" will explain how I stumbled across |
| more, but I want you to be surprised when you | | | | the Banana Diet, my ups and downs along the |
| read the story.(3) | | | | way, and why I believe bananas are they key to |
| I haven't done a lot of writing(4), but my sister | | | | a slim, healthy life - particularly for young |
| says I'm a really good storyteller.(5) I think just | | | | stay-at-home moms like your readers.(6) I've |
| about everyone would find my story | | | | already got a few experts lined up for this story, |
| interesting(6), and I think it would fit well | | | | including Dr. Sam Impressive of the Mayo Clinic |
| somewhere in your magazine (I don't really know | | | | and Dr. Dan Dietitian of Johns Hopkins.(7) Possible |
| where, since I don't read it regularly, but I'm sure | | | | sidebars(8) could include quick and easy banana |
| you'll find a good spot).(7) | | | | recipes and a short history of everyone's favorite |
| The story is all written, so let me know if you | | | | tropical fruit. |
| want me to send it to you.(8) I think $400 would | | | | Might you be interested in this story? I have |
| be a reasonable price for you to pay.(9) | | | | written about nutrition for several national |
| Yours in writing,(10) | | | | publications, including Fruit Monthly and From Fat |
| Connie Clueless | | | | To Fit; some recent clips are enclosed.(9) |
| (1) Always confirm the editor's name - and | | | | Let me know if you have any questions. Thanks |
| gender, if the name is at all ambiguous. | | | | for your time, and I look forward to hearing from |
| (2) Kudos, but this doesn't tell us where you're | | | | you soon. |
| headed with your proposed story. | | | | Best, |
| (3) Don't hide the ball - now's the time to spell | | | | Annabel Ontheball |
| things out. | | | | (1) Attention-grabbing intro. |
| (4) Never confess this, even if it's true. | | | | (2) Good idea to specify approximate article |
| (5) Unless your sister is Anna Wintour, nobody | | | | length. |
| cares. | | | | (3) Propose a title, even though it may be |
| (6) Not true, and shows you are unable or | | | | changed later in the editorial process. |
| unwilling to specify your market. | | | | (4) Now the editor knows where you're headed |
| (7) Even if you're not a regular reader, it's poor | | | | with this idea, and that it will be a first-person |
| form to say this. Also, it's your job to try to | | | | account. |
| identify a suitable department for your article. | | | | (5) Establishes your familiarity with the publication. |
| (8) Don't write the article until after you get a | | | | (6) Shows you know the reader demographics. |
| yes back from the editor. | | | | (7) Experts help provide additional credibility; great |
| (9) Similarly, don't discuss money until after you | | | | if you can get a few to agree to talk to you for |
| get a yes back. | | | | the article before you write your query. |
| (10) Cheesy and awful. Stick with something safe, | | | | (8) Again, shows familiarity with their format and |
| like "Best" or "Sincerely." | | | | makes life easier for the editor. |
| GOOD QUERY | | | | (9) If you have clips, great; if not, don't point this |
| Dear Ms. Jones: | | | | out. |
| Losing 85 lbs. eating nothing but bananas - and | | | | |