| Is the main character of your story a sweet, | | | | customer service. With the "showing" example, |
| caring person? Was the divorce all her husband's | | | | you can make up your own mind. |
| fault? Was she right to set fire to his car? | | | | 5. "Showing" lets you do multiple things at once. |
| Let your readers make up their own minds, | | | | You can show the reader that the waitress is |
| based on the evidence. | | | | rude at the same time that you deliver a |
| Think of a courtroom. The defendant insists he is | | | | sandwich to your character and bring some other |
| innocent of killing his business partner. However, | | | | customers into the scene. |
| certain suspicious details come out in the trial. For | | | | "But if the waitress was rude, can't I just say she |
| instance, he wrote a threatening note to his | | | | was rude?" |
| partner the day before the crime, he was | | | | Of course you can. And there are some situations |
| identified running away from the crime scene with | | | | where you should. |
| a bloody axe in his hand, and the police later | | | | Here are some reasons for "telling" instead of |
| found this axe hidden under his bed. What are | | | | "showing." |
| you going to believe? | | | | - If the scene is unimportant to your story. |
| Seeing is believing, as the saying goes. So is | | | | - If you're just trying to give some background |
| hearing, smelling, touching, tasting. People trust | | | | information to the reader. |
| physical evidence more than they trust a | | | | - If "showing" will bore the reader. You might tell |
| stranger's word for anything. | | | | me that your character's annoying uncle repeated |
| But what does this have to do with fiction | | | | the same sermon about thankfulness a million |
| writing? | | | | times during Thanksgiving dinner. But don't make |
| Don't TELL the reader that your character is a | | | | ME listen to the sermon over and over again. |
| sweet person. SHOW her caring tenderly for her | | | | Here's an exercise for you to practice "showing" |
| sick father. Don't TELL the reader that your | | | | instead of "telling." Replace the following "telling" |
| character's husband is a lying cheat. SHOW how | | | | sentences with "showing" ones. |
| he phones his wife from his mistress's bed and | | | | Example - |
| tells her some story about how he'll be home late | | | | Telling: Joan is a terribly messy person. |
| because he's visiting her sick father in the hospital. | | | | Showing: "Cool, there's my sandwich!" Joan |
| The impact on the reader will be a lot more | | | | exclaimed triumphantly, noticing yesterday's |
| powerful. | | | | meatball sub protruding from the heap of dirty |
| What do I mean by "tell" and "show" in the | | | | laundry on the back seat of her car. |
| context of a story? | | | | Now you try it. |
| Here's an example of "telling": | | | | Telling: Mary was a neat freak. |
| - The waitress was very rude. | | | | Showing: ______________________ |
| And here's an example of "showing." | | | | Telling: It was a cold morning. |
| - "Here's your stupid sandwich already," the | | | | Showing: ______________________ |
| waitress muttered, slamming the plate down on | | | | Telling: Steven was very nervous about his job |
| the table so hard that the couple next to us | | | | interview. |
| turned around to stare. | | | | Showing: ______________________ |
| Here's another example of "telling." | | | | Now here are a couple of story ideas that you |
| - It was a hot day. | | | | can use to write fiction that convinces the reader |
| And here's showing: | | | | by "showing" instead of "telling." |
| - Her blouse stuck to the small of her back and | | | | - Two old friends get together for dinner after a |
| sweat rolled down her thighs as she trudged up | | | | long time apart. One of them is secretly in love |
| the parched lawn to the house, where a collie lay | | | | with the other one. Show this, don't tell it. |
| panting in the thin shadow offered by the porch | | | | - Your character brings her new boyfriend home |
| swing. | | | | to meet her parents. This new boyfriend is bad |
| You might notice some benefits to showing | | | | news. Her parent see that the guy is a jerk, but |
| versus telling: | | | | they don't want to tell their daughter what they |
| 1. "Showing" is more interesting to read. | | | | really think. Show the scene. But... do NOT tell the |
| 2. "Showing" creates a more vivid mental image. | | | | reader explicitly that the boyfriend is a jerk. Do |
| 3. "Showing" provides more information. | | | | NOT tell the reader outright what the parents |
| 4. "Showing" is convincing. If I just tell you that | | | | think. Do NOT have the parents discuss the |
| the waitress was rude, you might wonder if she | | | | matter directly with their daughter. Instead, make |
| was really as bad as I say. For all you know, I | | | | the reader see and feel it all. And, eventually, |
| might just have unrealistically high standards of | | | | make the daughter realize the truth as well. |