Playing the Big R (Rejection) Game

What is one of people's greatest fears - the fear================= What Could Your Big R
of dying? Of public speaking? Spiders? The I.R.S.?Game Be? =================
Sure, many people share these fears, but the oneSo, where might you create your own Big R
I'd like to explore today I believe is larger than allGame? While it lends itself well to business
of these put together.matters, it can also be adapted to other areas of
It's the fear of REJECTION - the Big R.life.
And while a lot of people in sales struggle toFor example, what if you're single and you have a
overcome this fear every day, no one is immune.commitment to be in a "committed, romantic
Let's face it, one of our greatest desires is to berelationship." (Which is one of the first phrases I
accepted and loved. And often times, beingheard Ann share over 22 years ago which
rejected feels like the exact opposite.prompted me to sit beside her in the workshop
So, how might we overcome this innate fear ofwe were in....but that's a story for another time.)
rejection? How about a little 'purposeful play' toNow, there might be some preliminary work you
lighten the load. Here's a game I created overwant to do, as there was for my magazine
twenty years ago that served me well then andwriting project. You see, I knew there were
with a little modification, a number of other times.certain kinds of articles I wanted to write and
Back when I was breaking into becoming acertain kinds of magazines for whom I wanted to
professional freelance writer I created the Big Rwrite.
Game. The object of the game was simple:So, you might first want to create a list of
Collect 100 rejection letters as fast as I couldqualities and attributes of your ideal partner...and
while writing as well as I could. These letters,then start your Big R Game. How many people
commonly known as query letters, were writtencould you ask to introduce you to someone with
to magazine editors pitching my freelance writingthese qualities, as well as people you might meet
services and ideas I had for writing articles forand ask to get to know better.
them.Gulp? You mean I have to ask someone on a
Why you might ask would I want to play a gamedate? Probably so. But remember, the object of
with the results being rejection? Here's why.the game is to get a NO/rejection while playing
I knew that rejection was a part of thethe game to the best of your ability which would
profession (as it is with just about all professionsinclude asking out those people you feel might be
and all of life). But I also knew in collecting 100a good match.
rejection letters I would be accomplishing twoBut if asking someone out is too big a step, start
other important things:a smaller game -- maybe to share your desire to
1. Writing query letters, and 2. Submitting them tobe in a committed romantic relationship with ten
editorspeople.
Truth be told I think I got to about 50-60 when IThe main point is to start playing. You may find,
declared the game complete because by thatas I did, that the more "Big R's" you collect the
time I had plenty of paying assignments, and theless charge they have.
game had accomplished what I ultimately wantedSo, what Big R game will you create this week to
from it.move your life on purpose forward.